You know when you drink jussttt enough to get yourself tired? Like right before you get tipsy you’re just sleepy. That was what I was trying to accomplish and it has been done.

08-27 / 12:37


I’ve never felt more connected to a tweet than I do this one

I don’t think I believe in ghosts, per se. But, my nearest experience was when I went on a weekend away and was in a bar in England, years ago, with an ex-girlfriend. I heard this scratching. I was about to go to bed and I was thinking, ‘It’s an old ghost.’ I could hear this noise, but I couldn’t work out where it was coming from.


losing an argument when you are right just because the other person is too stupid to understand what you’re saying is probably one of the most infuriating things in the entire universe 

Mtv used zayn as a bad example in an anti smoking commercial and now I’m sad

08-26 / 9:44 / 8 notes



Do not allow people to mispronounce your name.


me in the 3rd grade

*asks to be line leader*

*farts at the front of the line so that everyone behind me has to walk in order through my fart smell*

signs secret abilities

  • aries: can write hella cute poems
  • taurus: amazing at putting together ikea furniture 
  • gemini: best mac and cheese maker around
  • cancer: can decorate cakes really good
  • leo: photoshop expert
  • virgo: can memorize song lyrics in a flash
  • libra: great at finding four leaf clovers
  • scorpio: super good with makeup
  • sagittarius: can take really pretty photos
  • capricorn: expert tree climber
  • aquarius: awesome at giving speeches
  • pisces:  can beat any and every video game

List of things I never thought I’d have to say and then I started working at a daycare


- don’t bite the calendar
- don’t lick his shoe
- stop biting the tails off of the dinosaurs
- why is there a banana in the dump truck?


when u excited about something and ur friend isntimage

It’s wayyyy to easy to binge watch cake boss

08-25 / 9:17 / 4 notes